作文想拿6.5甚至更高? 素材+句式+复习方法,全在这位老司机的秘籍里!

趴趴雅思小助手2018-05-15 15:39:55

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本文原作者是知乎用户 @ 一介道工 趴趴公众号系授权转载


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作文分数6.5, 遇到一个爆难的地图小作文,还没写完,自信大作文有过7的水平

先看一下我的雅思大作文,觉得过得去,再看后面的方法,

忘了题目哪里找的,作文本上最后一篇



Nowadays advertising usually encourage consumers to buy a product or service in quantity
To what extend ,agree.



❀   以下是关于本题的雅思大作文

It’s generally appreciated that advertising serves for information,and its chief use to consumers, is in providing reliable information to them so that they can make well-informed decisions; and to manufacturer,is in boosting the sales of commodity in order to maximize profit.It’s not surprising,therefore, that advertising generally encourage consumers to buy product or service in quantity.

In face of intensive competition,merchant need to design an effective strategy to make maximum profit,which obviously depends on sales.there is a wild selection of similar goods to choose form, once a product can emerge from all things ,the only problem should be tackled is how it can be approached as many as possible .Knowing that ,it’s easier to understand  why advertisements usually emphasize the significance of quantity.

But some people challenge this notion ,and they think this method can only be practicable and efficient in the short term .the future of a company rely on customers’ loyalty to their product, which is the core spirit of some high-tech-company,like Apple Inc. They cultivate consumers’ interest by promoting their quality continuously and use their developed technology to let their rivals fully behind .As a consequence,the point of their advertising is the quality of product

Personally,i think the content and structure of an advertising is designed on the base of product,if it can only boom for a while,then the reasonable promotion is to stress the importance of amount.however,if the quality of product deserve appreciation ,i believe even without advertisement,the speed at which products are sold can always accelerate.




关于作文复习书和工具

1. 那个什么十天小凝。 (趴趴友情提示→_→ 本书为 慎小嶷十天突破雅思作文)
2. 刘洪波的写作真经。
(第一个可以买,第二个,有钱的话随意你任性)


01. 慎小嶷十天突破雅思作文


第一本书,作文水平5分左右的还是乖乖地看吧。


我前期看的时候感觉好厉害的,但是由于里面很多的短语其实不一定记得住,但是基本的还是必须会,例如儿童的有一个:
effected by the sexual image portrayed in the film


我到了后期要写的话就是

Are prone to the sexual or violent image portrayed in the film


有许多的短语,不能死记,基本到了后期我写作文就没用,因为写上去的话,要是提分的话,空洞而不切合实际,
feel the sense of accomplishment
Develop the sense of financial management


单纯地记住一个短语是不足以把一个段落写出来的,一般一个段落是一个论点,然后论证过程,不够。

例如来说一个电子科技产品的影响,以下是BBC随身英语上的


He said that this over-reliance on digital devices 「 erodes family time and they're missing out on messages from body language and facial expressions from those around them 」.


给孩子们进行电子产品「 排毒 」—— Digital detox for children 原文网址:http://www.24en.com/bbc/bbc2/2015-07-21/176931.html


点击进入可以一看,学习加黑的短语和稍微记下来主要的论点,关于这个话题就好解决了。



02. 刘洪波雅思写作真经


第二本书,其实主要在于文章的结构,里面推荐的「 五段式 」。


第一段:引言,背景介绍,话题的引出
第二段:正方观点一,论点,论据,结尾
第三段:正方观点二,论点,论据,结尾
第四段:反方观点一,论点,论据,最后一句都是强调虽然有负作用但是然并卵。

第五段:总结过程,正大于反,然后结尾


大概只在剑9的作文里面看过同样的结构。虽然是基本的作文结构,没有什么可以否认的,建议最好不要 完全这样,我说的这样是缺少灵活性,例如要是一直固定的逻辑联系,那么后面就很难再发展了,里面总共有很多篇文章,里面的短语,有些论点我不太赞同,因为都是用主观的事实来说明,比如我,什么什么的来说明,按照高考语文老师说的议论文的原则,最好是别这样。用一些客观的,大家都知道的比较好。
没事看看,多从里边学习短语,
Moderation(适当,这次到了后面基本我都会用的)
Vice versa


工具


01. 朗文英英词典 ,

02. 牛津搭配词典,
03. 有道词典,(中文翻译出英文,再拿朗文去对比,再看牛津搭配词典)
04. 神器:MDict (可以多个词典一起,详情请百度)




作文结构,整体思路部分。
01. 整个结构的把握,可以参照雅思的例文。
02. 由于很喜欢四段式,而且我一般都是中立观点,所以四段式很适合我,这也是moderation

03. 我最喜欢的是剑7(要么就是剑6)一篇关于运动员的薪水高其他领域



结构如下:
第一段写运动员的薪水高的现象
第二段写开头写其他领域的也对社会有贡献度,然后第二段后半部分就开始反驳
第三段顺应第二段后半部分写为什么运动员这样会这样高,理由,结论
第四段总结,运动员还在相对合理的阶段,但是例如演员就不合理了(有一点发散的意味)

相信做阅读做多了完全是能感觉出来文章的思路的,下面是个人的一般总结



我的写作一般规律:


第一段是关于话题的一般总结,一般是一长段,然后最后一句,规律一般都是叙述一个中规中矩的,与命题相关的观点,然后由此引发后面问题的讨论。


It’s generally appreciated that advertising serves for information,and its chief use to consumers,is in providing reliable information to them so that they can make well-informed decisions;to manufacturer,is in boosting the sales of commodity in order to maximize profit.
However,there is a wild diversity of view on this issue.



一长段,关于孩子部分的


There is no doubt that children are vulnerable to be adversely affected by digital devices and they always embrace things without consideration of degrees.with the fact that children spend more time on television,video and computer games,parents start to worry about that they can’t do these leisure activities in moderation.there.....

关于惩罚的
It’s undeniable that law can never be enforce unless fear support it,however,punishment has never been correlated with the type of crime only,it also has concluded taking the circumstances and motivation into consideration,therefore,fixed punishment is far form multifaceted and reasonable.

第二段,一般是正方或者advantage


一般用的固定句式是

The idea that (表达一个比较具体的观点) wins favor with those who think that....



关于旅游的风俗习惯是否该包容的


The idea that host country should welcome cultural difference wins favor with those who think that to stimulate the development of culture and economy ,adoption of positive attitude should start form the level of government or local authority.(接下来是个人怎么处理地方差异,)



关于经济全球化的句子(好处)


Obviously,international trade is growing at a startling pace,which transformed market into highly
Efficient,intensive competition business.the cheap labor may make Chinese clothing competitive
In America ,As a result,people can buy clothing at lower price without worrying about quality...

.


第三段,一般是反方观点和disadvantage

一般开头有几种:



关于大学学习理论知识和有关于工作的知识(没找到具体的文章了,大概写的)
第一段大概是意思是purely want to Push out the horizon of their knowledge

However,the glasshouse of knowledge would never grow anything edible , it’s unquestionable ,therefore,that to prepare students well for their future life ,college should not deprive them of opportunity to learn practicable knowledge .......



关于改变和不改变的问题
第一段大概意思段落,不改变,可以避免不必要的风险
Those who relish and appreciate the diversity of world hold different views that if only look at their past and present ,they may lose their future of diversity .



最后的段落是总结。一般是好坏总结和个人观点。


个人观点,一般我都是鼓励用中立来说,即好的说一点,但是也要尽可能弥补缺陷带来的坏处。
In conclusion ,i encourage moderation on this issue,(正方一点,但是又提及反方,然后完结)


好坏比较特别有用的词语   compensate


Personally,i think The benefit it brings to us  more than compensate for disadvantages associated with it  (提及好处的影响,倡导应该采取措施 ,此处各种adopt弥补缺陷)




关于单词部分


有一点不必过多的拘泥于复杂,高级词汇。简单易懂但是描述精确有力

笔记本可以分出几页专门记下一类词语,分别注明搭配,用法,雅思作文方向,
例句几个词语,顺序为动词,名词(名词短语),形容词,副词。



动词


Adopt( an approach/ policy/ attitude)
Implement (a policy)
Tackle (problem)
Compensate (advantage could more than compensate disadvantage associated with it )

Exploit(见名词类)




名词(一类话题必然有特别的词语,需要专门学习)


Stereotype ( gender stereotype,另外exploited sex,domain基本就可以用于女性的话题)

Water-related illness
sanitation



形容词

(描述性质上可以准确,最好是多样,一般两个来形容最好)


Preventable ,(preventable water-related illness)

Effective,efficient (比较简单,但是要熟练运用)

Vivid( in face of vivid and often media coverage ,child may had formed their idea,,,,,, )




副词

(形容动作也可以两个,也可以用于形容词,更加精确)



Effectively,efficiently(也是比较简单类的,但是要熟练运用)
Overwhelmingly (simple but overwhelmingly strong)



例句


In face of lack of proper sanitation,many people are suffering from Water-related illness.
Positive policy about public health system should be adopted to tackle this problem,effectively and efficiently ,such as......

It’s really easy to find Gender stereotype in daily life ,that a strenuous job is automatically regarded as men’ s domain



注意事项


01. 翻词典必须看英语的,区分细微的差别,important,vital 都是重要 但是程度不一样

02. 多的表达的时候专门记下词典给的例句,学习比较地道的搭配

03. 动词,形容词,名词转换,dominate ,dominant ,dominance



句子积累和素材


句子的结构 ,一是复杂句子的结构,多看多学习,例文第一段:

It’s generally appreciated that advertising serves for information,and its chief use to consumers,is in providing reliable information to them so that they can make well-informed decisions;to manufacturer,is in boosting the sales of commodity in order to maximize profit.it’s not surprising,therefore, that advertising generally encourage consumers to buy product or service in quantity.


参照的句式有三个




开头


It’s generally appreciated that............

中间一大段参考的培根的谈读书,我把原文贴出来

Studies serve for delight, for ornament, and for ability. Their chief use for delight, is in privateness and retiring; for ornament, is in discourse; and for ability, is in the judgment and disposition of business.



看了原文发现我有些细节没对,可以学习一下
末尾一个前后带因果顺承

It’s not surprising ,therefore,that .....


一般大家的喜欢都是therefore 放前面的,句式的变化
再来一个句式,也会在素材观点上见到他,专门写国际援助的

The test of our progress is not whether we add more to the abundance of those who have much; it is whether we provide enough for those who have too little



句子结构方面,在清楚基本语法结构的前提下多读读英语的短片原文,特别学习下分号的作用。拿一个我模仿的(不是雅思作文的),忘记原文是哪篇文章了。排比句句式。


There were several burning and unforgettable moments between us,moments in which we were lying on the same bed ,but strangely ,before i fall asleep there was no sign of fantasy about doing it ;moments in which i told her 「 more than half ,you know i appreciate and have a crush on  you  」,when after drinking,she asked me whether the statue i updated on my social networking website has something to do with her and how deep i feel about her;moments in which i realize her significance to me that life could be a little bit harder for me without others ,but life can always better with her .




素材的积累,大概就是往论点论据方面靠



参考国外的名人名言,请百度,资源应该多,




例如谈「 公平 」的话题

all live under the same sky, but we don't all have the same horizon

It the spirit of equality means anything ,it must be opportunity



例如谈广告的负面作用

Advertising has put an end to the power of the most powerful adjectives.


顺便把这种的运用来说一下,拿这个为例
Advertising has put an end to the power of the most powerful http://adjectives.in order to boost the sales of product ,advertising encourage people to associate advertised product with attractive life,using vastly overrated adjectives and providing misleading information


(vastly overrated 是我刚刚查朗文查overrate 刚刚学到的,例句是 a vastly overrated film )


中间是小凝的十天中的句式,在里面标注的是基本属于难度比较高的句式


多读一点相关的文章,比如青年老人话题


Young men, in the conduct and management of actions, embrace more than they can hold; stir more than quiet, fly to the end, without consideration of the means and degrees;

For the experience of age, in things that fall within the compass of it, directs them; but in new things, abuses them.
这种文章难度有点高,话说老年人富有经验,sophisticated
看BBC随身英语的文章比较好,简单粗暴,还标注了需要学习的短语。


复习方法总结


01. 两个本子,一个拿来随时记,比如做完阅读之后精读的时候发现的句式和短语(相对比较随意),一个是练习用的本子,这个本子最好是大的本子,一个话题分四页,一页是相关题目练习的作文,一页是留来修改用,剩余两页是补充相关素材,句式结构,段落更改(第一本子的作用就体现在这里了)


02. 按时写一篇,根据进度来,一般整理一个话题也就三个小时,大神随意,学渣如我等就乖乖写吧,整体话题才15个左右吧


03. 偶尔翻过去的看一看,看看哪里有可以修改或者加强的。


04. 多阅读,就算拿中文写作,出彩的也必定是那些爱读书的人。


05. 多记段落比记短语有用的多,直接节约时间,语法,结构都可以学习。



参考的资料


01. 剑4-剑9 所有考官的文章,之后再看学生的文章,特别是看评语,明白错误


02. 慎小凝10天,没事看啊看,


03. BBC随身英语


04. 国外名人名篇


05. 我偶尔还看一看英语的原著小说,比较喜欢的是the great gatsby




本文原作者是知乎用户 @ 一介道工 趴趴公众号系授权转载


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